Carpal Tunnel, and "What If?"

Today I am still going through this same passage, Philippians 19-26. For several days now I have been reading these verses over and over, and still, Paul's statements continue to speak to me, which I'm sure he would think is a good thing.

This morning, I am sitting at home having just a cup of coffee, waiting for 10:00 am to get here. Today is the day I am having Carpal Tunnel surgery done on my left hand (had the right one done in January), and I'm not really anxious or worried about the procedure, having been through it just months ago. I'm not, however, looking forward to the next few days of having to use my right hand to do everything...I'm a lefty! So, Annette and Brian may come up with some pretty amusing phone pics to post of me trying to eat with my right hand (I think Annette is planning for spaghetti this evening). The remainder of today and tomorrow, when I'm just laying around, chillin', ringing my "service bell" to ask Annette to wait on me hand and foot (she thinks that is normal...ha ha), I will have some extra "thinking" time on my hands, or "hand." With this extra time, combined with all the added wisdom I've picked up since turning 38 yesterday, and some pretty good pain medicine, I'm looking forward to writing some very philosophical thoughts down! Really, though, as I remember back to this same procedure in January, I recall the admin folks at the Ortho Center reading over all of the "possible" things that could happen...loss of use of limb, loss of limb, incontinence (just seeing if you're reading!), or even death. Now I'm not a nervous wreck over going this morning, but a few thoughts have raced through my mind, the "what ifs," if you will.

I absolutely love living, I love my wife and son, I'm looking forward to seeing what child/children God sees fit to add to our family through adoption, and I love serving Him at MDBC. So, do I want to leave? I can relate to Paul's thought process here, as he shares that he is torn between dieing and going to spend eternity with Christ in Heaven starting right now, which is "far better," and remaining here to continue living this earthly life, having a part in seeing others come to know and grow in Him.

So, like Paul, I can say this morning that if the Lord sees to have me remain, I will continue to serve Him, and I will strive to help those whom I Shepherd progress in their walks with Him. Thanks in advance for your prayers for me this morning (and for Annette having to deal with me post-op...she's and AWESOME nurse!).

PJ